she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
