i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
