I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I could make wine with my vomit
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
