I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
