Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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