This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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