R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
