My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize