Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
