nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
