In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
