there was a trapeze. enough said
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
