Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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