Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she told me i tasted like america
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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