I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
