Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
