Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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