doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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