Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
