but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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