dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
