if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize