i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
