we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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