if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
