I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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