I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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