I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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