i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
