kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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