Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
