just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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