you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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