You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
