evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
