Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
