I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
