explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
