I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
