Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
