I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
