If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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