You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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