True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
