yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
