How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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