We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
