Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
