Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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