How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
