how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When are your genitals available?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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