yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
