my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
