i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
50% drunk capacity currently
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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