Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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