i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
