Already got asked if we're dating
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These tits shall not be calmed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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